Sunday, October 02, 2005

Yeah, I Know It's a BYOB. Try This Parker 98-Pointer

No one has really ever nailed John Chapter 2 - the "Water into Wine" Gospel..

Basically, Jesus and his entourage attend (read: "crash") a party in Cana. (Wedding Crashers is not a modern practice.) It's a BYOB. Mary isn't able to bluff her way past the bouncer, so Jesus has to step up. He is not entirely happy about that - his big day for miracles has not yet come. But alas, he steps up. Mary tells the slaves to fetch some bottles, and Jesus pulls a Jedi mind trick and turns the water to 6 pitchers of wine, which the bouncer takes to the boss.

The party boss grabs the knuckleheaded groom, and says, "You're not supposed to save the good stuff for last, moron! People are drunk already, they know not what they drink! This stuff is great."

It's unclear if Jesus made a 7th bottle of "reserve."

Anyway, it's in John 2, the only source of the Water into Wine story (although John 4 reiterates it):

1And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: 2And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
3And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.
4Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.
5His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.
6And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.
7Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
8And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.
9When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,
10And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.
11This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.


At 8:55 PM, Blogger JT said...

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